Changing Every Day!

I swear I heard Evann speaking his first words today and not just words, but full sentences. I know it sounds impossible for a baby less than 8 weeks be speaking in full sentences, but it's absolutely amazing! I could swear that I heard Evann reciting the "To be or not to be" soliloquy though Mommy L says it's sounds more like a G.W. Bush speech...she may have a point. Regardless, his endless chattering and gooing is so wonderful to hear. The boy is really starting to develop and grow.

Which comes to my next point. When does it happen? When do we first have realization? I am always wondering what babies dream about or have nightmares about? Are they real thoughts or just concepts? I often find little Evann laying on my chest sleeping and then he chuckles "Heh, heh, heh" in his cute little voice...which makes me chuckle...and to which he in turn chuckles some more. It's so cute, but I wonder "what do you find so darn funny?"

Speaking of realization, I had one of my own. I realized that I am now a parent. This may be more of an Asian parent realization, but it dawned on me when I found myself washing the salad container. Okay, maybe I have to be more specific. I found myself dishwashing, in fact, putting into the dishwasher, the Wendy's takeout salad container. I don't know when it happened, but it's happened; I have truly become an Asian parent.



It's been almost two months since dear Evann was born and so much has happened during his short life. He's been to a couple of movies, a few of my baseball games, a couple of baseball tournaments, attended two weddings, introduced at church, a few birthday parties and more than his share of family dinners/BBQ's. He's met countless number of friends and relatives (though admittingly, he has trouble sorting out who's who...as do his parents sometimes).

He's sleeping fairly well at night for 3-5 hour stints. Poor Mommy L has been taking the vast majority of the night feedings now that I've returned to work. I feel badly, but sometimes I'm so tired, I don't even realize what's going on. Mommy L has been fantastic and is really a wonderful mother. She's been working out and has been trying "hot yoga" (basically yoga in a sauna which sounds like hell to me). She looks great and always has a smile on her face.



I've had to be away a few times since returning to work. It's always hard to leave Evann, but it really gives me something to look forward to when I return home. While away from him, I just notice babies all around and try to get a glimpse to quench my baby fix. When I return home, I can't wait to see, kiss and hold Evann. My heart melts when he greets me with a shriek of joy or smiles. Sure, it may be gas or simply surprise, but like I said earlier...it's all a matter of interpretation.

6 weeks old - His First World Cup Final

Our little Evann is already 6 weeks old and enjoying his first World Cup Final with his dad...ok, kind of enjoying it until "the incident" with Zidane. Evann could not understand why key man Zinedine Zidane's loss of control which led to his dramatic sending-off 10 minutes left in extra time. Evann lost it and was subsequently booked by the referee as well.
Although, we were cheering for France, it was a great final - excellent pace and chances by both teams. Still waiting to hear what made Zidane head butt Materazzi in the chest. I hope that Evann will show more discipline than Zidane in the future.

Evann has been a great little baby. He's growing and growing every day. This week he's up to 6 ounces of milk per feeding! This is up substantially from the 4 ounces last week (much to the chagrin of his dear mom). He's actually starting to fit into his 3 month clothes and getting the foundation of his future "Michelin" legs.

There are a few things in parenthood which I've come to realize. The first is how people cannot help and give their unsolicited advice and how that advice conflicts with other people's advice and comparison with their children. "Don't do that." "Don't do this." "With X, it always worked." "Oh Y, never did that." Parenthood is a constant challenge in diplomacy, editing and censorship. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that WE are much more prone to giving unsolicited advice now too; of course, as new members it is our perogative. ;)



Another interesting realization is that the grandparents can NEVER over-spoil their grandchildren. I guess with the strict routines and regulations of new parents such as ourselves, it's good that little Evann gets that once in a while. Having said that, his grandparents come and visit him once, twice, sometimes three times a day! It's nice to be loved, eh?

I've started work again. It's been a real challenge to help Mommy L with the night feedings and try to get up for work. To her absolute credit, she's stepped it up a notch and has taken the additional baby work load in stride. I've tried to help by taking on more during the weekend and taking care of Evann during the week so she can go out on her own. Life is starting to resemble some sense of normalcy again...for now.

Well, it's time for a nap for me and the boy! Thanks for reading, we'll virtually see you soon!

Happy Month-day!

Okay, I know that celebrating the first month may seem like another overzealous first-time parent and admittingly, it is, but there is also some validity in celebrating all the numerous first-times. Also, when is the next time I can really summarize ALL the events of one person's life.

It's been a month already. And quite a month it's been. Little Evann is getting bigger with each week (the paranoia of first time parents worrying if their baby is eating enough, etc, is over). Our family has seen not one, but two additions to the family (more on that later). He's had so many firsts and enjoyed some great sporting events, such as an improbable run by the Oilers to the Stanley Cup finals only to lose the final game (Evann actually cried when Carolina scored their empty net, one may believe it was coincidence, but I think he saw the high-stick in the Carolina zone), he's enjoyed almost every match of this year's World Cup (and was so strong when Korea was knocked out), he's watched the Blue Jays have a pretty good month of ball and he's even come watch me play in a few baseball games without complaint.

One non-sports related events, he's saved his best for his 30-day. He slept all night in his cradle (okay for 4.5 hours) only waking when I woke him up to feed him (just moments ago). This has been a big accomplishment because he's been sleeping with us in bed as of late. Like his father, he is a hard sucker and has moved to bottle feeding breast milk (I on the other hand, enjoy a nice cold bottle of beer occasionally). I watched in amazement as he (again like his father) polished off his meal faster than it took to heat it. Let's just hope that he doesn't have a soft spot for pizza and KFC like his dada.




His first hair style. The baby faux-hawk.





Yesterday, Evann saw his first theatre movie..."The Lake House." We enjoyed one of the "Stars and Strollers" movies. I think this is formerly known as "Movies for Mommies", but was changed to the less glamorous name due to the age of political correctness. For those of you who have young children, this is a great event held every two weeks (at selected movie theatres for only selected movies) in which there is a change table along with diapers provided by the theatre. The movies are said to be quieter and the theatre more lit though I didn't really notice a huge difference yesterday. For those of you who don't have kids, if you ever happen to accidentally go into one of these screenings, leave immediately unless you don't mind your movie being interrupted by crying, cooing and people swaying their babies. Evann did not cry during the entire movie, though Mommy L did. ;)

As for the other addition to our clan, my sister or rather my 8-year old niece decided that there was no better time for a puppy than now. We were happy to announce the addition of Kaya, a beautiful Chocolate Labrador. She is the split image of Evann (in puppy form) having big paws, a big head and just finding her way in this world. Kaya is a little more toilet trained though Evann has yet to pee on our kitchen floor. I'm sure that Kaya and Evann will be great friends throughout the years.



As from my stance, it's been a great month. I've enjoyed this time off from work (I return too soon) and have greatly appreciated the wealth of support from my family, friends and co-workers. Not a day has gone by without a visitor so it's been busy, but both Mommy L and I love to entertain guests. Having said that Mommy L has been incredible throughout this entire process. We've had our quarrels and spats, but nothing that isn't outshone by our love for one another and this incredible new love for little Evann. I've learned to not wash disposable diapers (see past posts), point "the pepper" down, don't be too vigilant & wait for the second poop before changing the diaper, and don't listen to too much Raffi.

I can't wait for the next stage of Evann's life. I'm sure it'll be as exciting as the first month, but hopefully with more rest. I'm not holding my breath though. I've got so much to learn and I'm sure that Evann will be a great tutor. Peace!

Happy (1st) Father's Day!

How exciting! My first father's day!

I've never really appreciated Father's Day before as I have today. It's not too bad; I could live with this "Father's Day" stuff. My day started with a card from the boy (interpreted and channelled through Mommy L) and some yummy cupcakes bedside. My father's day present is NO DIAPER CHANGES and I get to play hockey and watch World Cup Soccer tonight (Korea vs. France)...GO KOREA! It's really MY day! Yippee!!!

The concept of fatherhood is really starting to sink in and you know what? It feels good. We ventured out last night for our first baby-free outing, Mommy L's cousin's wedding reception. We left Evann with my parents and surprisingly, not only did I miss him, but also we left before the dinner was done. Mind you, it was a 10 course Chinese meal. I couldn't believe that after only a few hours how much I missed the little bugger.



I wrote little Evann a little letter.

My dear son Evann,

I'm sitting with you in my arms and I'm looking lovingly at your beautiful face. I hold you close and I kiss you gently upon your sleeping face as I look upon you with endless love.

I'm thinking about how you're going to turn out. I promise to be there cheering you on when you score your first goal in hockey, hit your first home run in baseball, make your first save in soccer (football) and sink your first basket in basketball. I will also be there cheering you on during your first penalty in hockey, your first strike out in baseball, the first goal you let in in soccer (football), and miss the winning shot in basketball. I will always love you in whatever you do.

In the next few years, you're going to be watching me play sports and you'll be cheering me on. I'll play my heart out for your cheers and to make you proud. And as I hold you in my arm, I feel tears as I think that one day, you will be holding me and kissing me gently on my face.

We'll be a great team son. I can't wait to watch you grow up. As my grandfather said to me, "You must be better than your father who was better than me." In my eyes, you are already better than me because you already make me feel so proud.

Love,
Dada

Okay, I know that the sappy factor is high, but that's really what I think and feel when I see this kid. I don't know how it's happened (again, I go back to the cuteness power or Jedi Cuteness Power which I referred to a few entries back).

Evann has been great lately. Pretty much on a schedule (I'm starting to realize that an hour or two variance is acceptable). Sleeps well through the night and not too much crying in general.

As you can see from the picture, against most books and advice, we have resorted to using the "dark one" aka "soo-soo" aka the pacifier or soother. It works like a charm especially when I'm waiting for a bottle of expressed milk to warm up (yes, we're bottle feeding him breast milk too). I'm not ashamed.

The kid is really growing up. He eats like a horse (my genes I'm sure). I can't believe it's only been 3 weeks since he's been born. I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since I've become a father. I'm loving every minute of it.

By the by, we won our first game of the playoffs today (1 goal and 2 assists for me), Korea tied France 1-1 putting them 1st in their division and my sister made the family a wonderful Father's Day BBQ dinner! Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there! Like I said, I could get used to this Father's Day stuff!

Baby Brain

What is this power that babies have over the general population to turn them into mindless babbling fools. If I could only bottle up that cuteness, I could control the world. Unfortunately, my wife will not let me bottle any part of Evann.

This power also translates into the baby songs that we are always mindlessly singing to babies as well. Have you ever really examined any of these songs? Last night, I was rocking with the boy on the gliding chair and singing "Rock-a-bye-baby". I started to think about the lyrics of this disturbing song.

Just think about the lyrics for a moment:
Rock-a-bye baby, in the tree top
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all

I wonder to myself, why is this baby and the cradle in a tree during a serious wind storm (obviously strong enough to break boughs)? And is this a song that really soothes and put a baby's mind at peace to sleep? I, too, would be on guard and would be resistant to sleep with tree-placing-cradle-caregivers like this.



Anyhow, the parenting continues to be fun and challenging. Baby E keeps us on our toes. Every day, I think that we've finally got a schedule and the boy just changes it. He's subtle though, only modifying times by an hour or sleeping when he should be awake or vice versa. I know it's intentional because I see the little smirk on his face. He's so tricky. I like his style though, but what he doesn't know is that his father is advanced too. I'm just going to trick him with reverse psychology. Yeah. So when he tries one of his little changes, I'll say I wanted him to do that. Yeah. I'm all over it.

By the way, the words and lyrics to the nursery rhyme "Rock-a-bye Baby" are reputed to reflect the observations of a young pilgrim boy in America who had seen Native Indian mothers suspend a birch bark cradle from the branches of a tree enabling the wind to rock the cradle and the child to sleep. The rhyme also hold a warning on the choice of bough! Still, I wouldn't recommend it.

Week 2 - The battle rages on...

I've been a father for two weeks now and I've learned a lot. I know there is still much to learn and time/experience is the only way to learn. I'm not on the honour roll yet, but I'm passing. Every sleepless night is like a night of cramming before the big exam the next day...unfortunately, the big exam always seems to be postponed to the following night so there's another night of cramming. An endless cycle.

Karma is a funny thing. I think that's why I enjoy watching "My Name is Earl" (which is all about rectifying or balancing Karma). Karma got me good a couple of mornings ago as I was teasing Mommy L about not being able to properly put on a diaper. It was early (6 am) and the boy woke up on cue. As I went to pick him up, I realized that his onesy was wet. I shook my head lovingly at my sleeping bride and thought, "Oh honey" with mock disapproval. Being Super Dad, I quickly changed the diaper and outfit and went to the rocking chair to put him back to sleep (as is our routine). I held the boy close to my chest and hugged him lovingly. I could feel the warmth of his body..."wow, he's really warm" I thought. That warmth spread down my chest and then not only did I feel warmth, but also wetness. It turns out that I, too, have some diaper changing lessons to learn. Is there fatherhood summer courses so I can upgrade my mark?

To make matters worse, in my haste, I didn't take the diaper out of his sleeper and it went into the wash. Now, I'm not sure if anyone has washed a disposable diaper before, but I recommend not doing it. Have you ever wondered what makes a baby's diaper so "absorbant"? Well, let me tell you, it's not just material in those diapers, but apparently there is an absorbant gel - some sort of absorbant material that just sucks up the moisture. And I'm not talking about a couple of gel beads - but a WHOLE LOT of them. Well, if you do ever wash a disposable diaper, here's what to do (apprently not many people do this because I couldn't even find help in the almighty Internet). First of all, shake all the clothes out and put them into the dryer and air only dry (oh yeah, remove the diaper and throw away). Run your washer(empty) for a full cycle. Rewash the clothes sans diaper. Last lesson, don't blame your wife for doing it. SHE has a system. Is there a remedial fatherhood class?



Fatherhood has not only taught me these valuable lessons, but has also taught me that babies really do cost a lot of money. It seems that we're always picking up something "baby" related whenever we're out from diapers to creams to washcloths to breast pads. There's always something.

Of course, financial cost is not the only cost. The loss of sleep still plagues me. Instead of writing my blog right now, I should be trying to catch a few winks, but I haven't entered anything lately so I feel compelled. The parallels between parenthood and war continues to draw closer. I feel like I'm living my life in a foxhole (the couch) catching some zzz's before the next barrage of gunfire (crying or worse, diaper change). Never is the sleep solid and I'm always on my guard. You work with other memebers of your unit (spouse) and cover each other when you can. It never feels like it's going to end and you don't feel like you're gaining any ground. But I'm waiting for the day that they tell me the war is over. Many parents of kids much older have informed me that the war is never over. I remain optimistic for at least a truce.

I continue to look at my dear Evann's face with everlasting love. He remains my pride and joy and my heart jumps at every smile (despite me knowing it's probably just gas). I love telling friends how "advanced" he is with his ability to turn his head and kick his legs. I truly love this boy. For him, I will continue to learn my lessons of parenthood and hopefully pass.

One Week Down - A Lifetime Left

As I sit here with little one week old Evann in my arms, I wonder. I wonder how I could have been so blessed with such a beautiful baby boy. I wonder how I can love this little guy so much and love him more every time I look into his eyes. I wonder how I can type this blog with the boy on my arm (I'm hoping my wife wakes up so she can take a picture). Finally, I wonder when I'm going to have a full night's sleep again.

The first week of parenthood has been a wonderful experience; full of excitement, elation and pure joy as well as full of challenges, frustration, and loss (of sleep). The boy is now the only world that I understand and remember. I can't remember what life was like prior to the baby despite it only being one week since his birth.

My own life and passions have taken a back seat to the boy. Of course, Mommy L is a primary concern and focus of mine as well. She is so strong and such a great mother already, I'm so impressed with her. Yesterday she had her first solo "adventure" of going out into the world baby-free. Admittingly, it wasn't a grand adventure - she went to London Drugs for 10 minutes to pick up a breast pump - but a solo adventure none-the-less.

Today, we had another "big" outing, we went to Superstore. Now this may seem mundane and uninteresting, but I had another realization while there which ties into this thought of loss of self. I used to love food shopping and cooking...today, I couldn't think of anything to cook...and nor did I want to. I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.



Of course, I know this will not last forever; yet I wonder if things will ever be the same (pre-baby) again. I know that the answer is inevitably "no". I also know that once a parent - always a parent. I will always worry and protect my son as long as I live. I can't say that I mind either way. My life has definitely been blessed with the arrival of my dear boy.