The First Few Days...

Wow.

There's a baby at my house.

It's MY baby.

Wow.

It's been a few days since we've had Baby Evann home. I don't really know how many days since every day has now blurred into one. Day, night...they have meaning no longer. It's funny that only a mere week ago I COULDN'T sleep because I was excited/anxious; now I CANNOT sleep because of the boy. It's such a challenge especially at night when he seems to tap into the earth's core for power. He cries...and cries...and cries. It's a battle of wills and strength...one would probably give odds in a two against one contest, but he dominates us.

Having said all of that, he is so precious to us. Despite feeling frustrated sometimes, I cannot ever feel upset at him for I know that it's as much as a challenge for him as for me. I love him so dearly and one look from his beautiful eyes and I melt. This kid owns me.

Things I can only share with another father which will have some semblance of understanding are the SLEEPLESS nights, the frustration of breast feeding (non-fathers don't understand this and look at you cock-eyed), the SLEEPLESS days, the crying and of course, the lack of sleep.



I always thought I would be SUPER DAD! I love kids and I've been an uncle many times over and have even lived with my sister when my first nephew was born; it didn't seem that hard...maybe because I could come and go as I wanted. I'm having doubts already. The boy has rocked my confidence of my fathering super power. He is my kryptonite.

I've listened to this looping Raffi CD around 200 times in the last 24 hours. It's like some strange mind altering drug. I'm happy yet want to kill. When will the sleep come?

I find myself speaking like Darth Vader during some evenings when he's crying. No, not with "Evann I am your father", but the lesser known "What is your bidding, my master."

For all you expecting fathers and mothers...get your sleep. This advice was frivolously tossed aside when told several times. I beg for forgiveness for this brashness.

I know that it's only a few years away. I'm really looking forward to it. In fact, I've already planned my first trip with "the boys", we're planning to go out in 2017. I can't wait. I hope he lets me go.

I must go, my Master cries for me. And he's trained me to run when he calls. "I'm coming my son!"

The Adventure Begins

Isn't pregnancy and birthing funny...sometimes not "ha ha" funny, but more "what's that smell" funny. As a first time father, I can honestly say that patience is the only virtue that matters. You cannot rush a baby.

What has happened since the last entry is obviously from my perspective only, but I'll be as objective and unbiased as I can be. Mommy L should have a very different recollection of events, but after all, this is my blog. Regardless, the events that have passed have uniquivocally changed my life...

After going to the hospital, we were told that Mommy L was only 3 cm. They didn't want to send us home since she was having regular contractions. The nurse wanted us to walk around for two hours to see if things progress. The comment was "you don't have 'THE LOOK'"...whatever that means. So we walked. Now, despite how big a hospital is, there is only so many places one can walk in two hours. Needless-to-say, we now know the hallways of the Womans Hospital intimately since our two hour walk changed into a three hour walk with no progression. So we were sent home at 11:30 am.

While at home we could do nothing but wait so I slept. Mommy L was still having contractions which were intesifying. We didn't want to go to the hospital and be sent back again so she took a warm shower (which is supposed to help the baby "drop"). It may have helped if we hadn't run out of hot water.

I woke up to find my dear wife experiencing contractions 2 minutes apart, but lasting only 30 seconds (yes, I know it's only "only" for the men). Instead of going to the hospital and being sent back, we decided to call the hospital. The time at this point is 2:30 pm. The nurse in admiting remembered us - the "walkers" -and suggested to slow down the contractions to have a bath. I find this logic a little backwards (since I thought we were trying to increase the frequency and duration of the contractions) until she tells me that not only do the contractions have to increase and intensify, but the mother must be dialated 10 cm. Pregnancy is an intricate symphony of activity in the woman's body - in which the men are the ushers. The other problem is that the last suggestion was to take a long hot bath, BUT we're out of hot water because of the previous showering suggestion. Being the resourceful person that I am; I do it old school style and I boil some water on the stove and pour it pot by pot into the bathtub.

After the bath, the contractions started up again...this time with a vengence. Poor Mommy L is in tears with every contraction. It came to the point that Mommy wanted to go to the hospital even for a shot of morphine to relieve the pain (which the nurse had earlier suggested) so off we went again.

This time as soon as we walked into the admitting area, the nurses said that Mommy L had now got "the Look". Upon further evaluation, it turns out that Mommy L was now dilated 6 cm! Unexpectly, we were going to be admitted and going to have a baby soon! I new sense of joy, excitement and fear washed over me as the realization that I was going to be a father dawned on me (okay, I never said that I was that bright - but better late than never, right?).



Mommy L received an epidural at 6 pm to relieve the pain and it worked like a charm. She went from excruciating pain to total calm. After waking from her nap at 10:30 pm, Mommy L was fully dilated at 10 cm and could start pushing. I won't get into the intricate details of the birth, but it suffices to say that it looked more painful and strenuous than anything I'll ever experience - the term "labor" is well coined as it doesn't look like fun. My sister JM was in the room during the entire labor and documented everything - from the early stages when I was watching the Oilers knock out the Ducks to the crowning and subsequent birthing of dear Evann (those pictures will not be viewed by the public though).

After an hour and a half of pushing, the long journey finally came to an end for my little boy (and champion Mommy). Little Evann made his grand debut. There is nothing more breathtaking and magical than watching your child being birthed. Tears of pure joy started streaming down my face as soon as I saw his beautiful face (originally I thought they were sweat drops, but my vision was blurred so I assume that they were tears). I cut the umbilical cord with precision of a surgeon - for those who have yet to experience it - the Dr. simply says to "cut here" - it's more simple than making snowflakes in Grade 1 since there was no folding involved.



So..the Adventure Began on May 28, 2006 at 00:01 (12:01 am for you non-metric people). I am an extremely proud father and husband. Both mother and child are doing wonderfully. I'm looking forward to the next challenge...the first few days...

It's time...

Well, I'm not sure if it was the spicy food or one of the other "non-medical ways" to speed up labour, but something has worked.

It's now 6:10 am and Mommy L has been in early (but active) labour for most of the night.

We've timed the contractions now to a mere 6 minutes. We're waiting for the golden 5 minutes apart - 1 minute in duration. Okay, she's waiting...I'm blogging (but still watching the time and helping her breath through the contractions - it's the least I can do).

I quickly scour the Internet for any last minute advice and things I have to do before Baby Evann arrives...let's face it...it's too late. Like we said during hide and go seek, "Ready or not, here I come..."

Contractions are coming fast and furious...we'd better get going to the hospital.

Yikes!!!

...okay, it wasn't QUITE time...

The Big Day of Waiting...

Well today is the day! Little baby Evann and Mommy L has made their respective journeys this far. Our Dr. has called this the "perfect pregnancy" with everything going according to plan. Now we wait.

We were about to watch a movie last night "The DaVinci Code" with another pregnant couple - isn't it interesting that men always refer to themselves as being pregnant too - I alway try to refrain from doing that. Anyhow, while trying to locate them via cell phone, we were shocked to find out that V's water had broken (she's a V too). This was a shock to all since the their baby's due date wasn't until 666 (June 6) and this drastically changed their birthing plan (yes, they still believed that they could actually plan a schedule around the birth). Needless-to-say, the movie was cancelled and our friends went off to have a baby. I just spoke with Papa S and it looks like their baby still hasn't arrived...we're still waiting to hear about Evann's future playmate.

Waking up this morning, the world changed again. Mommy L is having her first pangs of early labour. Some light contractions around 30 minutes apart.

Here we go...let the wild ride start!

I've been working from home for the morning and we spend the rest of the day out and about. Not doing anything too strenuous, but mainly just trying to keep Mommy L's mind off the contractions. She finds that as the day progresses things are starting to calm down and she's not noticing the contractions as much. I relax thinking that it was just a false alarm...maybe some sympathy contractions/labour arising due to last night's excitement.

We have some friends drop by for a visit and even bring us some dinner (thanks MJ). We also go out to meet my family for a spicy meal at the Chili Pepper House restaurant nearby. This is a great place serving mixed Chinese and Indian cuisine. It's very spicy and I figure a good way to get this baby back on track. Here are some other Non-medical ways to speed up labour:
• nipple stimulation (you can do this yourself, involve your partner or use an electric breast pump)
• sex (if your membranes haven’t ruptured)
• herbal teas such as "nine month tea" or "raspberry leave"

We've tried it all...and we wait.

TWO DAYS?!?

Sleep has evaded me like the Canucks evade the playoffs. Ouch. I'm just sore because the Oilers (the team whom the Canucks so graciously invited into the playoffs) are up 3-0 in their series. But I digress.

The advice I always hear is "get as much sleep as you can get" and "go out as much as possible". Both these advice are sound since sleep and freedom are the first things to go when having a baby, but don't they seem a little conflicting? It's like giving my friends free reins to a bar, but telling them to stay sober (this was proven difficult - as per the last post).

I think the pending arrival of Evann is finally sinking in. Oh yeah, I can hear the collective thought of "FINALLY", but it's not that I've not accepted the role of being a father (note the double negative). It's just that I'm realizing that the boy is really coming and soon. TWO DAYS!?! Now, of course, I realize that most babies do not arrive on their due dates, but still the fact that the due date is a mere two days is...EXCITING!

By the way, I did put together the crib and the baby room is finally finished (okay, if L is reading she'll say that I still have to put away the cable modem and wireless router which is currently on the floor).

I think what's really keeping me from sleeping is the realization that I'm not going to be a Funcle (that is Fun Uncle) this time. You know the Uncle that can play well with your kid, rile them up, buy them treats and then leaves you to deal with impending meltdown due to fatigue and sugar crash. I'm now entering the world of parenthood where I'm going to be responsible for this little being for the rest of my life.

Though a daunting task, I'm sure that there've been those before me who have taken this task (around 20 billion). But even so, I plan on being the best father possible to my son. I will say now that sometimes I will make mistakes, sometimes I will be over protective and I may even be wrong (though this is unlikely since I still have yet to be wrong in my marriage). :p One thing is for sure, I will always love young Evann with all my heart and soul. Even when he pees on me.

Baby's not here, but I still can't sleep

It's 3 am. I can't sleep. I'm SO thirsty, yet too lazy to get up and get a glass of water. Ohmygosh, soon I'll HAVE to get up if the baby is crying. This will be good practice plus I won't be thirsty. I get up and almost make it directly to the kitchen, I stop for rest on the couch on the way (our house isn't that big).

It's now 6 am. I wake up the worse "pre-baby" way possible; to the sound of a murder of crows. Once again, I make my way to the kitchen, go outside and pretend to throw things at them. A few scatter, but some can't see me, thus my antics are ineffective. The mind-numbing cawing continues for another hour.

9 am. I stir from my restless night's sleep thinking, "I should put together the crib." But before I take on such lofty projects, I have to move all my internet connections and rewire everything. Good thing the baby has a bassinet in our room for the first few months. "I should really put together the crib though." Maybe tomorrow. It's a long weekend after all. This baby is going to come out soon, my days of procrastination are coming to an end.

Possibly against my better judgment, we're having a BBQ today for my hockey team. In every book we've read and during the prenatal classes, it has been mentioned time and time again to do as much as possible prior to the baby's birth. We have taken this quite literally. We went out less before L was pregnant (which probably led to her getting pregnant).

This week, we've attended a baby shower (for a friend), a BBQ, a movie, a family dinner (for my mom's birthday) plus I was sick for a few days. Wow, what a week.

Today, as mentioned will be my hockey team's BBQ. We've prepared all the food and my dear wife L has been so supportive. Despite not being fully behind this endeavor, she has smiled and helped throughout. From all the shopping, to food preparation to cleaning. What a woman. Having said that, to help L, I put certain parameters around the BBQ such as prompt start at 4 pm and prompt end at 8 pm (which should minimize the drunken baffoonery).

We have lots of great food and no real theme. It's a very ecclectic menu from Korean short ribs (kalbi) to Jamacian jerk chicken wings to Thai noodle salad to scalloped potatoes. Should be good. Except for the rain. But when you have lemons, you make a soy-lemon dressing with a hint of cilantro...or lemonade. We moved the party into the garage. Now for those of you who haven't seen our garage, it's not a "party" garage with sofas, pool table and tv...it's a "where do I put this crap" garage. We managed to cram 15 people into the single car garage and had a great time.

My time constraints went out the door when I made the first martini at 8:30. Things got really out of hand when I opened the second bottle of vodka and we started playing poker. L, as usual, was a gracious host throughout, lovingly realizing that her first baby (me) needed some last playtime (thanks my love). The evening finally wound up at around 1:30 am (but don't worry, I knocked L out of the poker tourney at around midnight - see, I'm a good husband too!).

Wow. I'm going to have a kid.

T-Minus ONE week.

One week and counting...

One week to enjoy life as I know it.

One week of restful, uninterrupted sleep (other than my wife's snoring).

One week of me.

I'd never thought this day would come. The proceedings of the last few months not to mention the last few years for that matter, seem to have blown by. Having been only married last July (yes, do the math, it's well over 9 months ago), our "bundle of joy" was an unexpected, but welcome surprise.

Here's how the story goes...two weeks after being married, my wife came back from a day out with her friends only to say that she'd visited a Tarot card reader. The Tarot card reader had claimed that we would not be having a child for many years and that our child would be a girl. So I asked my wife if I could allow my swimmers to "go for it" which she confidently agreed. As you can see from where I am now, I want my $10 back from the Tarot card reader.

Since then, life has been interesting to say the least. We packed up our little condo in the more affluent Westside of Vancouver for a small house in the family oriented East Van (thus the name Evann - East Van). We traded in the Acura RSX for a Honda CRV. My den, once the site of business is now future room for transferring poop (okay, not so different from business). Needless-to-say, we're ecstatic.

Having read every book which tells us what to expect, the only part left is having the baby (which according to our prenatal class, should be quite a breeze). I've also gone over several web-based "baby checklists" and "to do lists". I'm ready. Having said that, is child birth really THAT difficult for any man? Not a day passes in which I don't love my wife more and praise her for her courage and strength...not a day passes in which I would not switch places with her (though I have added my share of sympathy weight).

As the happy day draws nearer, I can only ask myself the questions typical of any expecting father: Will I be a good father? Will I be able to support my family? Will my child be smart? Will my child be a good athlete (mutually exclusive to the previous question)? Will my child be cool (also mutually exclusive)?

At this point, only one thing is important; that my wife and child are both healthy and happy and have the least traumatic delivery possible. I can't wait to watch my boy enter into this world. It will be one of the most incredibly magical moments in my life for sure.

Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for further updates...same bat time...same bat channel. Peace and blessings!