The First Few Days...

Wow.

There's a baby at my house.

It's MY baby.

Wow.

It's been a few days since we've had Baby Evann home. I don't really know how many days since every day has now blurred into one. Day, night...they have meaning no longer. It's funny that only a mere week ago I COULDN'T sleep because I was excited/anxious; now I CANNOT sleep because of the boy. It's such a challenge especially at night when he seems to tap into the earth's core for power. He cries...and cries...and cries. It's a battle of wills and strength...one would probably give odds in a two against one contest, but he dominates us.

Having said all of that, he is so precious to us. Despite feeling frustrated sometimes, I cannot ever feel upset at him for I know that it's as much as a challenge for him as for me. I love him so dearly and one look from his beautiful eyes and I melt. This kid owns me.

Things I can only share with another father which will have some semblance of understanding are the SLEEPLESS nights, the frustration of breast feeding (non-fathers don't understand this and look at you cock-eyed), the SLEEPLESS days, the crying and of course, the lack of sleep.



I always thought I would be SUPER DAD! I love kids and I've been an uncle many times over and have even lived with my sister when my first nephew was born; it didn't seem that hard...maybe because I could come and go as I wanted. I'm having doubts already. The boy has rocked my confidence of my fathering super power. He is my kryptonite.

I've listened to this looping Raffi CD around 200 times in the last 24 hours. It's like some strange mind altering drug. I'm happy yet want to kill. When will the sleep come?

I find myself speaking like Darth Vader during some evenings when he's crying. No, not with "Evann I am your father", but the lesser known "What is your bidding, my master."

For all you expecting fathers and mothers...get your sleep. This advice was frivolously tossed aside when told several times. I beg for forgiveness for this brashness.

I know that it's only a few years away. I'm really looking forward to it. In fact, I've already planned my first trip with "the boys", we're planning to go out in 2017. I can't wait. I hope he lets me go.

I must go, my Master cries for me. And he's trained me to run when he calls. "I'm coming my son!"